Thursday, March 17, 2011

I will continue blogging about adoption...

So many of you already know, adoption can be a long drawn out process.  Benjamin came home so quickly, but we still have some waiting until finalization.  There is no risk of is losing Benjamin as long as we take good care of him:) But we have to adhere to the adoption laws in Utah and that law state we cannot legally adopt him for 6 months.  So for now, we schedule post placements and send updates and are at the mercy of others when it comes to our son.  I am not complaining...  Adoption is a miracle- a true miracle!  Trust me, we have done it three times.  And part of me is really glad we get to readopt here.  It was so fun with Andrew and Annabelle and we intend to have the same big party on Benjamin's big day.  What??!!  A party?  Aren't you shocked?!  HA!  And part of me is glad he isn't truly our (on paper) yet because it makes me so much more grateful for the process and so thankful for Benjamin's birth mom.  But just part of me, a tiny little part sometimes, just sometimes, just wants it to all be over.  That little part that doesn't want to pay for birth father rights to be severed.  I don't want to have more post placements so someone else can prove we are doing a good job keeping him healthy.  I just want to raise my son and have it be nobody else's business.  I just want to focus on our new family of five.  Then I am reminded that we are all adopted by our heavenly father.  And I am so glad there isn't a tiny bit of his heart that didn't want to sacrifice for me.  Glad that He never grumbled about all that He did to make me His child.
So I will continue to write here in this adoption blog until we have finalized our adoption process with Benjamin (and probably longer).  Thank you for continuing to travel on this journey with us.

PS- Here is a pic of Benjamin at 2 months old.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dear Birth Mom-

Five years ago today you gave birth to the most incredible little girl.  You chose the perfect spot to lay her on the side of the road.  Close to foot traffic but not too close to the road.  You carved out a little hole for her to lay.  I feel like you must have waited to see if someone would find her.  Someone did.  A policeman, he named her Hamelmal, which means beautiful reed because she was so beautiful and so slight.  Her next few months were a little precarious as she was allergic to the formula she was eating and didn't gain any weight.  I am sure those same months were precarious for you too.  Grieving a loss you had to pretend never happened.  Choosing this for your daughter to keep the rest of your family safe.  I cannot imagine what was racing through your mind as you took one last look at your precious girl.  Did you think about her future, or just her immeidate safety?  Did you have the horrible thoughts of what would happen to you if you were caught?  I wounder what you think about today on the anniversary of her birth.  We pray for you each night.  We pray that you would see your decision as good and your heart would be peaceful.  We pray tat somehow you would know that tiny baby girl is not in an orphanage, halfway to "aging out of the system".  She is living with a family.  With parents who love her more deeply than they thought possible. She has the sweetest Ethiopian brother her same age and a younger adopted brother too.  She is so smart and funny and knock yourr socks off beautiful. She knows they story of how she came to be a part of our family and even though we dont know your name or anything about you you are part of the story.  Thank you for choosing to give this amazing little girl a story.  Thank you for putting her life above your wants and grief.  Words cannot express how thankful we are for the blessing you gave us 5 years ago today.
Annabelle's family

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Dear Birth Mom-

Five years ago today, you gave birth to the most amazing little boy.  He must have looked so tiny at only 7 or 8 pounds. We don't know what name you gave him, we don't even know if you saw him or not.  You made the ultimate sacrifice for him.  You laid a piece of your heart in a safe place where someone would find him and take him to the orphanage.  We do not know your name, or where you live or if you are still living or not.  We do know you did a very brave thing- unmentionable to most here in the US.  Here, we have choices, adoption, government assistance programs.  The list never ends.  Our government is trying to ensure a mom never has to make the choice you made 5 years ago today.  We know, after learning about Ethiopia and seeing it first hand that you were out of options.  You were probably starving yourself and leaving your child to be cared for at the orphange was the best decision you could have made.  We cannot imagine how you were able to muster the strength just a few minutes after you delivered him.  The strength and courage to say goodbye forever.  You probably thought, "At least he will be able to eat and go to school, so much more than I could give him".  Your choice was amazing, and so is your son.  He did not end up in an orphanage, he is being raised by a family who loves him so completely, so totally.  He loves to run and his favorite foods are chicken and blueberries.  He is so smart and totally healthy and a miracle and a blessing. We cannot imagine our lives without him.  We pray for you every night.  We pray that you would have a peace about the decision you made 5 years ago today.  That somehow you know that the Lord has some outragous things planned for your son.  Thank you for making the most unbelieveable sacrifice so that we could become a family. 
Andrew's Family