I was alerted to a disturbing post on Facebook today. It was a picture of a young African American woman who was pregnant. She looked to be about 8 months pregnant, except she was pregnant with twins and the caption explained she was 25 weeks. She was walking out of an abortion clinic where she had just had "the shot" to abort the babies. She was now waiting to deliver these babies. She said she did not want twin girls because she already had two girls. She had to leave the clinic because she did not realize aborting two babies cost more than aborting one. She had to go get more cash.
Terrible right? I think so.
Today I burst into tears when I saw this because I cannot imagine how desperate this woman must have been to make this decision. Who does she have in her life to tell her this is okay and encourage her to do this? Not because of medical necessity, not because of how the babies were conceived as through an act of violence. Just because they were girls. She must have a lot going on in her tourtured young heart to think this was the best answer.
A few years ago, I would have had a totally different thought process than I do today. Is this horrible, yes. I feel sick thinking about her delivering those babies today. I prayed for her today, all day. I was talking with another adoptive mom about this after I saw this picture. Adoption involves a great amount of grieving for the birth mom. More than I will ever know. More than I could ever imagine. Towards the end of the grieving process, coming up on acceptance, the birth mom can reach out for hope. She chose life. She can hope the child is happy and heathy and loved and has been given everything she could not provide at the time the child was born. Sometimes, she even has pictures and letters to prove it. This woman today will go through a grieving process as well. When she moves to acceptance, she will not have that hope to hold onto. She made a sacrifice all right, but no hope is attached to the outcome. None.
All of my children's first moms had a choice. Andrew, Annabelle and Benjamin's birth moms could have made the same choice this young woman made today. Erased their precious lives. Just like that. Done.
I would never have had the chance to rock them and snuggle them and look into their eyes as they have a bottle. I would never have seen them crawl or walk or hear the sweet sound of their little voices saying my name. No belly laughs, no chasing each other. No kissing and hugging and patting as they hug. No breath on my neck as they fall asleep. I hugged them extra close tonight and cried as we prayed for each birth mom. Two birth moms I will never know, and one I will never see again.
Thank you sweet first moms, for choosing life.